New crushes?!

When I first posted this it was: Saturday, July 10, 2010
I actidentally made it a different blog, and I don't want 3 blogs and one of them only have 1 post on it.

So, yes it's true. I have a new crush(es?) I mean... I met these two guys at church camp (I know, great way to meet a guy, huh?) and one guy is kind of cute, and sweet, when we first met.. Like that night we hung out and we were just talking and he told me that I had a beautiful smile.. And I could tell when I first started talking to him I would like him, hes a grade up from me, and only 9 months older than me. BUUUUTTT there is also this other guy... But I could never even think about dating him... He's turning 18 soon... And he's gonna be in 12th grade, plus goes to a different school! >_< But he's SUPER nice/sweet. And I know he likes me.... Another reason I can't date him is he's gay.... Or he thinks he's gay... But I changed that for him... He likes me... And I am one jealous girlfriend. You know what would SUCK? Me having to think "OMG!! HE'S TALKING TO HIIIMMMM HE MUUST LIKE HIM!!!" I have enough of thinking that about the last guy I liked, but only about girls.... BUUUTTT I don't majorly like these boys, it's only a small crush. VERY small. I'm not worried. <3

Memories

Have you ever had a memory that you remember maybe a year after, and think that you would have died if you didn’t remember that one special memory? Would it cut you deep if the person you shared that special memory doesn’t even remember it… Or a year later asks if you ever seen a certain movie… When it was your first movie together? Especially if that person was once the person you were girlfriend/boyfriend with??? Trust me, it will kill you deeply inside if this ever happens to you.

Have you ever wish you could take back a memory? Maybe it was a happy one, but you’re just so depressed that it’s not there, and you’re not repeating it, so you’re sad that that has faded away? Well here’s something for you: Don’t be sad that it’s over, be glad that it happened. It’s hard to be happy when something is over. Bobbie and I are over, but I am thankful that we happened. I really am. I hope one day you can be happy too…

Being Optimistic

My best friend just called me that. Optimistic. I don’t believe I’m very optimistic though. I am such a dork I looked up the meaning:

Optimistic – Adjective – Disposed to take a favorable view of events or conditions and to expect the most favorable outcome.

Well, really when I think of it, I might be optimistic! I mean, not with my situations, but with everyone else’s. I don’t want to get my hopes up to just be heart broken… Again. I can’t do this with Bobbie again. I want to, and if he would ask me out I would say yes of course, because I love him. But when I cry about him liking someone else, I don’t sob “Maybe he likes me more!” No. I don’t. I think of the depressing times. And how much I messed up our first two relationships… But whatever! HAPPY! I’m HAPPY! Kind of… Not really… But oh well, I’ll live.

The one.

Have you ever thought that you have found your 'The One'. Maybe in middle of finding him? Or trying to find out which one it is? (I don't judge that badly.) I never would have thought Bobbie woul be my One. But I think he is.. : / Which isn't good girls! NOT GOOD AT ALL. See Bobbie, I'm not his 'The One'. I am not even sure that he's found his 'One' yet. But I know Bobbies mine... Mayb I'll learn to love someone else, (doesn't this sound like a chore?) but not as much as him... All I did today when I got home was cry. Over him... Which isn't good. No. Not good at all. -Sigh- Listen to yourself and to your heart. And me. Don't fall in love... In the end all you get is a heart break.

Friends who don't think

So, I'm in high school, and of corse I have my big time crush that I have liked for three years now. (We will call him Bobbie) I know. I am a dork, I can admit it. And then I have my close friend (We will call her Steffie). Now Steffie has a boyfriend, who she majorly likes. They are perfect for eachother. And Bobbie... He's my EX-Boyfriend. And we are about to start dating again. He likes me, we have had two dates this past month. It is really good. But my friend, Steffie, can't leave it alone! I can talk to him without being a major freak and she MAKES me become a major freak. You know how your friend, AFTER THE CRUSH LEAVES, teases you about him? Remember how they do that AFTER they leave? Not Steffie. Nope. She does it with them right there. When they can hear her. Clearly. Something else that bothers me about Steffie, is that she flirts with Bobbie. I think shes a natural flirt. (I am not a natural flirt.) And today she attacked him with a hug... I was not happy about that. What friend does this to another friend?? What can I do to make her stop?! I have talked to her telling her she has to stop making it obvious that we lie eachother! But she only uses a penny of her brain, and only half the time. Can someone give me advice?

And by the way, I be posting more stuff - If anyone cares... And if anyone ever reads this. Thank you!